a little less than a month ago i had a farewell in school because your girl right here has graduated! yeah! i was talking to my best friend (you guys still dont know her name because she's shy) and i realise i was doing most of the talking (as usual) so out of courtesy i asked what was up with her. she answer was, "nothing much. just something sad happened". hoping i would be able to cheer her up or even fix what was upsetting here i asked if she would tell me what the issue with her was. she said she couldnt tell me and i let it go for the night.
the next day i asked her is she wanted to talk about it and she gave me a strong no and said it was not worth talking about and i shouldnt pry. i wasnt hurt or anything because she's my BEST friend and i had the best intentions to help her as best as i could.
i tried putting myself in her shoes and i learnt something i wish i knew while i was in high school!!
so when i was in high school, if something bad happened like i was wrongly scolded by a teacher or if one of the mean boys made me cry in school, once i finished crying, i would immediately find a group of random people or get on my phone to get on whatsapp or facebook to tell people what just happened. i dont understand why i used to do that but i think maybe it was because i liked being in the spotlight.
doing that was the worst thing i could have ever done to myself. here's why:
- every time i had to repeat the story, the magnitude of the issue grew bigger and bigger on my mind. like it was harder and harder to forget and get over with it.
- once the so-called friends heard my story they would often bombard me with questions, forcing me to review whatever traumatic experience i had just gone through. Here you can tell what shitty so-called friends i had in high school (mostly boys and i have cut ties with them and i felt so light after).
Unnamed Person said and did some mean things to me and i was so hurt and just so coincidentally Stranger A texts me and asks how im doing so me being how i was i had to retell everything that happened. once i finished, i was hit with the stupidest questions in the world like, 'is it true?' , 'to what extent did he verbally abuse you?', 'why and where did it happen?'
after answering all the questions to the Stranger, i sorta expected some sort of help to get back at my bully or being shown some care. any help honestly. here's what happened, the Stranger did not care in the least, and everyone in school found out and had their own interpretation of what had happened between me and the bully.
i was so mad like boiling mad and the bloody ass even had to ask me, 'is it true?'. like would i freaking lie about being abused!! i never knew people could be this inconsiderate until i met my year 11 class. this sort of thing happened really often with me. too often. and it brought me a lot, A LOT, of unhappiness while i was in school. if i had know then that these people i thought were friends were just brainless busy bodies, i wouldnt have told anyone.
the lesson here is that not everyone cares and not everyone deserves to know what you are going through because most "friends" dont care about you. you are strong enough to go through your troubles by yourself. even if it may get a bit too hard, always turn to family first! FAMILY FIRST. they genuinely care about you and give you more than the help you will need to get through whatever you are going through.
this is what i wish i knew. YOU DO NOT NEED PEOPLE WHO YOU BARELY KNOW TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU BECAUSE THOSE CLASSMATES NEVER REALLY WANTED TO HELP YOU. REPEATING THE STORY ONLY MAKES MATTERS WORSE! THE MATTER WILL GET BIGGER AND WEIGH MORE ON YOUR SHOULDERS THE MORE PEOPLE KNOW!
this is what i want the asses in my high school year to know: you guys did not have to know if you didnt care! you guys are the most inconsiderate bunch of people i ever saw. why did you have to drill me over what i was upset about! couldnt you guys just listened? JUST LISTEN AND DONT ASK ANYTHING!
