monks and bridges

yoo hooo!!! hey you! i just had tea of cake and orange slice cookies and i started feeling great for a minute then i thought about how it probably didnt help with my getting fit regimen which is still in the initiating process and now i think i probably shouldnt have eaten so much(cake was a dessert for lunch too) also i had cake for breakfast. why so much cake, you ask? all leftover from a birthday. 

i had a revelation a few days back when i was putting on a pair of jean i liked because it fit so nicely. it doesnt fit like a glove anymore unless gloves were meant to be so tight your hand stayed at infant size like an inverse of the chinese tradition of feet binding. wait i have to go on a tangent here. once someone told me a story and it goes like: there were 2 monks about to cross a wobbly bridge over a river when a very pretty lady came, and she had her feet bound so she couldnt walk straight and she asked help from the monks to hold her as she crossed. one monk was all oh we cant be in close proximity to a woman cause its bad and he may have said non-halal but im not sure, old story. but the other monk, a nice one, carried her across while the bad monk watched, angry. they left the woman at the other side of the bridge and for a long time, the bad monk went on a long rant on how he-who-helped defied their religion and was unsuited for monkhood. the nice one, chill as ever, said, 'i left her at the other side, why are you still thinking about her?'. i think the moral was to always do the right thing even if society goes against it. also to not carry around anger like the bad monk.

okay back on track, my jeans wouldnt go over my butt, couldnt button it, and i saw i had a pseudo-pot belly. clearly i was upset, and now im trying my darnest to lose a few ponds and then some. im just so in love with eating especially candy that i think to keep away requires a strait jacket. i just want to fit into my jeans again and not feel so much blubber around. 

yesterday i went to gym with sissy and i lasted 70minutes on the threadmill and about 2 minutes on the cycling thing.i like they gym, the staff are friendly and i dig the view from the second floor. sissy is all about squats and i dont see the point of it but she does her thing and its all good.

im not going to school anymore but i went yesterday to play around with my friends and at one point we played charades and there was a racist moment when the word 'black sheep' came up but its fine because its funny and we get that it's not to be rude but just funny.

im feeling like an episode of The Flash now. gosh Grant Gustin is the most gorgeous man alive! love it!! also i think his best friend is the Arrow who is like Hawk eye's descent. funny.

see you whenever lovelies