Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun and other updates

hi there friends! from the title you can probably guess that im about to talk about another anime. you would be correct!
tonari no kaibutsu kun translates to My little Monster but dont let the name scare you like it did to me in the beginning. it is totally a shouju manga! so the pair this time is Haru-kun and Shizuku-san. so shizuku is the perfect student and haru is smart but doesnt like going to school so the teacher sends her to him to pass the message that if he doesnt show another day he'll be expelled. she goes under a bribe and then he falls for her and she goes crazy over haru as well but she wont show because she is tough and smart. haru gets more popular in school everyday with many girls after him and stuff so that pisses her off. but he's like totally devoted to her. he had a gang and stuff before he started attending school and they are out to get her. my favourite thing about haru is that he is so strong and he doesnt hold back in a fight when he is defending shizuku. imagine how nice it would be to have someone defend you from the mean people in school. also he has a really sweet small baby smile!! the ending was such a cliffhanger though. and no season 2?! i had to download a manga reading app to find out the actual ending. okay so they got married yay!!
two animes that i would never recommend are Nijiiro Days and Kimi ni Todoke! the first one is a but to bland. the storyline doesnt have anything interesting happening and the characters are lame. the second one cause i didnt like the drawing style and i dont like that the girl was so helpless in class. cause it reminds me of me. she lets people decide things for her, say weird and wrong stinking stuff about her, get so nervous over everything and worst of all, she has to try so hard to make friends and when she does, something has to happen to make it all go wrong. yeah sure the guy likes her but that doesnt do anything.
later today for dinner, we are getting treated to a buffet in a sushi place. i will be my first sushi buffet so i am so very excited. also today is the last day of school exams so hurray guys! i will take lots of picture of my dinner today okay! so happy!
i have to clear up my room soon and im also wondering how that will go.
lets be honest for a moment before i have to go. i wish i had a lot more cute clothes. i mean i am thankful that i have what i have and i have clothes to wear. really super thankful. but then i dont always make the right decisions when it comes to shopping. half the time i buy something that doesnt look good. also i live in a very rural area so we dont have many shopping options and if we do have a nice boutique or two, everything is over priced. i mean i like kawaii styles and i really like harajuku fashion but im like some country farm girl next to all the harajuku experts. where do you shop for fashion?!

kaichou wa maid-sama and other updates

hello guys! today is Sunday and i have just had a burger dinner and the time now is 8.32 pm. then i went to get a very large cabbage to make some kimchi. i actually had some kimchi yesterday for dinner at Wong Kok(which is supposedly a Hong Kong restaurant). i ordered a korean rice cake and it came with kimchi at the side. then we were brought for cendol and i like the jelly in the cendol!
yesterday i finished the anime 'kaichou wa maid-sama'. i... really... SUPER LOVED IT!!! i really am so into shoujo manga! i need to find more otaku!! i reaally wish i was Misaki-chan!!! she is so cute and so tough and the best part is she has Usui waiting on her hand and foot. so many times he risked his life and body to protect her!! ahhh!!! he's even more perfect than Kei from special A. but his identity is such a secret though! like why doesnt he have parents and live alone? thing is he always protects her and he's tough too so i really like them together.
i woke at 10am this morning and my parents had packed breakfasts for me and my sister.
i had roti and sissy had noodles. its the pan mee noodles from the shop she likes but they have been open less regularly recently. so it was shocking that she got it today. turns out that it was their last day selling the noodles. the owner has a health issue with her back so she cant make them anymore. we have been their regular customers for more than 10 years. we follow them every time they move shops and now theyre no more. what else is no more is my terrapin Lego. i returned to kampar this afternoon to find lego not moving. sembo is doing fine if you guys wanna know. i was so upset. what happened to it?! it was doing fine and stuff but then it stopped moving and its head and limps were just so elongated and not in it's shell in the slightest. it was so sad. why lego?
im not getting another terrapin, sembo has to deal with his loss.
also next week im making a really big  purchase so stay tunes for that!
reminder guys, that 18th is fathers day so make sure you are prepared! goodnight

Special A and other updates

hey everyone! it is 11.09 am and i have been awake for about 5 hours now. yes. five. i slept really late yesterday probably cause i woke at noon but i also wanted to leave a nice surprise for my sister in the morning. i got my dad to buy me a scented candle from bath and body works for her. i wanted a lemon or vanilla scented one but my dad got something better. its called eucalyptus rain and it smells like a natural forest. cool isnt it?! i left it next to her bag last night cause it was too dark to see whats on her table!
yesterday i completed a new anime called Special A. its about this special group of rich and smart students who have their own problems like the rest of the world. of course theres a a poor girl and a rich guy who is always watching out for her. i watched the first two episodes only to realise that the story line is exactly the same as Boys Over Flowers(that superb korean drama). i can name a few 1) there is a poor girl who has a rich guy who likes and protects her 2)his parents are trying to disband his group of friends 3)he sacrifices himself as in obeys his parent's wishes and go overseas just so they wont mess with the girl he wants to protect 4)she gets kidnapped at one point and he comes to save her.
so you've watched one, youve watched them all. there you have it!
last night before i slept i had and epiphany and it was an amazing one. i cant tell anyone about it though. i normally would but i have learnt something from that loren cunningham book i mentioned about a few posts ago. he said that you shouldnt tell people what God showed you without his permission and i dont want to risk anything because i did not get permission.
also i wanted to end this post on a thankful note.
i am thankful for my amazing parents who let me try anything i wanted to try. it wanst easy but thanks to my really cool parents i got to try the piano, ballet, art, taekwondo and drums. thanks you guys! i love you, great i will have my lunch now. maybe when i get back i will make a post about special A

so blessed to be able to give party packs

hello everyone! it is 10.56 in the morning and i have been awake for almost 3 hours now. yesterday i woke at 11.30 am so i went to bed early but couldnt sleep till two.

yesterday i completed my sembo model of the apple office. look 

THERE IT IS! i will upload a montage of the process of making it on my youtube channel later. it's pretty cool.

this morning i woke up to a really gloomy sky and it kinda made me sad a bit so i forced myself to think happy thoughts! 

i recalled when i was 5 years old and i was in kindergarden. i had a party in class and it was epic all thanks to my mom and dad. they are the best! i had a finding nemo square cake and i wore a pretty dress. i remember the assembly line we made a few days before my party, packing up really fun party packs. i really had a blast making them. now i wasnt the most generous kid but it made me happy to pack those gifts. 

for some reason this line popped into my thoughts: 'it is much more blessed to give than to receive. that means you are a blessed child'.

it made me really happy to think about so i searched the verse and it's from Acts 20:35(In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.' 

so now i will try my hardest to not be so materialistic and expect things from strangers and also to be more generous and kind! 

yeah! cools!! so i have to get back to editing my video so see you guys later!

life lessons

hey everyone! it is 11.16 pm on a monday night and im online. yesterday night something happened to me. i was sick. my chest hurt, my face felt numb and i was all weak. i expected a long night ahead. so i prayed for 1)God to tell me why am i hurting and 2)for God to take away the hurt. i even did the steps loren cunningham's book(is that really You God?) said to do if you want to hear His voice. if i recall correctly, he said to 1) pray against any interruption from the enemy 2)pray to remove any selfish thoughts for bias towards any answer and 3)i dont know but i know there were 3 steps.
i waited. until i fell asleep.
i woke to an early moring this morning. it was 6am or something and i woke up with a really upbeat attitude. i didnt feel the pain from last night. i just felt really really happy. i didnt even recall last nights pain until just a while ago.
im also really grateful because to day i got to start a new sembo set. this time its a 1116 piece, multi storey apple building. im really excited to show you guys tomorrow!
it came in a really big box and i like opening big boxes. i even thought of getting a p.o. box for the fun of it. my dad used to have 2 p.o. boxes and it was really elite-cool.
i guess this is just to update you guys that im healing. also to give you guys some tips on how to take care of a grieving person.
1. you DO NOT relentlessly bring it up. see the fastest way of healing is to forget and how is she to do that if it is constantly brought up.
2. give them enough time. so some people take longer than others to get their life back on track. and it isnt fair if she is rushed.
3. dont tell them how difficult theyre being. again no one can comprehend the magnitude of their grief so if that person is being difficult, imagine this, you lost a million bucks and feel sad and go depressed for a bit but people scream at you to stop being sad, wouldnt that make you more sad.
4. be kind and compassionate.
im really young. like im only 10 years old. you guys probably didnt know that but yeah im only 10. sometimes you feel like yelling at the world who judges you, but remember that you dont have to agree with what your haters say. i know who i am and i am so freaking awesome that people get jealous. that is to be understood. people just cant accept the fact that they arent me and lash out. so im giving you guys a chance to make it up to me. if you feel like you have wronged me in the past or anything. send me an apology to my email and i will give you forgiveness.

how do i express myself

i can boldly say that i have never experienced heartache like i did yesterday. i'm getting over it in my own time but it's going to be a while. last night i had a rough night. i couldnt sleep, couldnt breathe. i felt so much hurt and physical pain in my chest. i didnt know how to let it out. i would smash something if i could but i dont do that sort of thing. i desperately wanted to scream but where could i do that without getting yelled at or judged. i wanted to cry but i was way to dehydrated to cry. it even hurt to drink. im not being over melodramatic or something. i tried doing other things: a crossword, some biology and i would immerse myself with that till i felt calm but when i tried to sleep i felt so much pain again. why? why did it have to happen to me?! why not some snotty kid who nobody likes? i cried plenty by myself yesterday. thing about growing up is that there are fewer people around you when you cry.
im already working on preventing future pain. i wont be carrying a wallet around me anymore. i have put what little things i have in a food container. its not ideal but until i figure out how to carry cash and card around me without an actual wallet. even looking at it to empty it out was too traumatizing for me. i need some hypnosis or something. im feeling nothing now but what if the hurt comes back this night. i make myself feel great by knowing that people always want what i have. it's true. why did i get mugged? CAUSE PEOPLE FUCKING WANTED WHAT I ALREADY HAVE. THE WORLD IS ENVIOUS OF ME.
lets end this neither on a sad nor upbeat note.
i want to dye my hair. this time im thinking of a fierce colour like red. i want a new bicycle. the world is ending. can someone get me a shuriken? does jiinora marry kai in legend of korra? i need a phone.
sorry guys if im not giving you the best stories to read up. give me some time. i need to heal for a bit. hopefully get back my aegyo character. i cant even remember my personality before yesterday. is this what kim kardashian felt like in paris?

i dont want to feel the pain
send me back in time
when i didnt need to write this rhyme 
in attempt to escape the thunder clouds that rain.

it hurts like a sword my chest
unable to rest
knowing i lost something special
a thing i cared for best

when i leave this world forever
will i be released
from the clutches of regret and hatred for myself
that i cannot tame, cannot cease

people say seize the day 
i agreed when i used to be able to play 
before i went through what some call 'life'
really cant endure any more strife

life is hard 
i always knew
have mercy 
take me home

when you lose something special

hi all on the web! its 3.48 and i feel like i had a close call with death. i feel weak is what im trying to get at. hopefully some of you can related to what i went through or just be inspired.
so it was almost 1pm and cause our car was leaking juice or some dirt we left it in the workshop. we needed to grab lunch so we called for an uber. it came and when we reached the mall, the fare was 3 bucks someone drew out two bucks and i had one buck in my right hand and offered it to the front. in the midst of things someone grabbed the money sticking out of my wallet and just gave it to the driver. a long with that money, my precious 2 ringgit (God, this is really painful to write) went to the driver he even exclaimed how happy he was to see a rare purple dollar.
now a little back story: when i was in primary 3 like 9 years old my best friend Phoebe at that time showed me her purple bill and i was so impressed We challenged each other to see who will one day have more purple bills than the other. i got my dad as my partner and he was really cool cause he came across so many and he would just give them to me. i ended up collecting more with more than a dozen of those things. i remember once in secondary school because i lost touch with Phoebe i thought it would be okay to spend it i spent like 10 of those bills on nice things but i kept 2 for my self and promised to never spend it. even when i changed wallets and purses keep it away just for looking. and today i lost it. i just lost it. i have had it for a decade and i just lost it(kill me now).
i just came out of the uber crying and sobbing over the lost of my bill and over the fact that i was so stupid and cowardly that i couldnt ask for something so special back. i keep replaying the scene in my mind, when the driver asked me for it, he specifically said he wanted the purple 2 dollar. I COULD HAVE SAID NO. WHY DIDNT I SAY NO?! WHY DID MY MAKE MYSELF MISERABLE ON PURPOSE?! it meant so much!!
i was so upset, i threw up, i cried, i became a corpse.
i couldnt eat but my family had to so ended up taking a taxi home myself.
in the taxi i was clearly upset so i hadnt planned on engaging in conversation with the chinese uncle driver. he could tell i was upset so he spoke really gently to me, asking my address and directions really patiently. when we reached my house he asked if i was okay and i explained what happend. he told me he collected them too but he was willing to sell me one of his. i took it!
obviously it was not the same dollar and i will forever hate the uber driver for being so picky about a young chinese girl's money that was mine. then again maybe he's in the millitary or has cancer or is going through something so if i made him happy with a bill that meant so much to me i guess i just need a while to recover.
i guess it was a miracle that i meet a nice chinese uncle driver in the drive home.
i came home, grived and choked a bit.
being me its really hard to have a bit of space to grieve. when the rest came back i was attacked with lectures and the like when clearly i wanted to be left alone even for just a bit. i was told that one day who-and-who might die and i'd have to get over it and that will be harder to get other than the purple bill. that the bill was something insignificant and to get over it. now i was threatened or frightened a lot as a kid with the whole 'you know one day who-and-who will die speech'. it gave me a lot of trauma that i overcame by myself. so now i just shut it out. it took a while but you realise that there is a possibility of you dying before them. sorry about all this talk of dying but you can guess the mood im in. im so dehydrated but i cant even carry myself get a drink.
i guess you cant expect anyone to talk to you gently like the stranger driver. even in sadness, people arent obliged to speak not harshly to you.
im sure i will cross paths with more 2 dollar bills one day. but for now i want to forget everthing that happened. forget my cowardice. forget my hatred. forget my shame. goodbye world.